DZ

Raining again so decided to stay in door and practice guitar and read, had Japanese food for lunch extremely expensive, more expensive than in the states. Started to read “A Brief History of Time" by Stephen Hawking, love the book by it is more complicated than I thought so many part I had to read twice. This trip I took a lot of time off and alone to think and reflect on many things, and asked myself what have I accomplished in the past few years. And I realized the answer is nothing. Sadly. I did not do well in school, and did not even graduate on time like I planned. I did not fix many of my bad habits like I promised and always procrasinated. Looking around all my childhood friend has grown up, many are already working and working hard. All my cousins around me are married and now have kids, it is weird because this year I have so many nephew and nieces, I used to dislike playing with kids, but this year I came back it's very different I love spending time with my nephew and niece, but they make me feel old. Life isn't as simple as it used to be for us, I remember in elementary school all we worried about were playing and some homework. But with more knowledge in life and more experiences, slowly we mature but now we have more things to worry about. For the past few years I never realized, but now when I look back I realized the people around me were always there for me to push me to become somebody better but I was too busy trying to enjoy the moment. Of course it is not wrong to enjoy the moment, but there's a thin line between enjoying the moment and losing the sense of purpose in life, and I think for years I lost myself. I spend much time during the day thinking about the wrongs I did in the past, but many things I regret but cannot change. But if I can fulfill my own goal and promises in the future, I would be happy. I guess in the end we all have to grow up sometimes and my time is now.